Dear Bubby

Dear Chance,

God, it's been 8 years now. 8 long, hard, stressful, painful years since you've been gone. What's heaven like? Tell me it's better than life here cause I need to know you're safe and happy. Are you happy? If you are thats good...Not for us though... How often to you think of us? I think of you everyday of my life. I surround myself in pictures of you and me. Sometimes I sleep in that old Beevis and butthead t-shirt or that Cincinatti Bulls shirt you left behind that last summer. Remember that picture of us in Gaitlinburg in the moutains? I still have that. It's one of my favorite pictures. I even had it blown up poster size and put it up on my wall. Gramma even had a bracelet made after you died for me....I wear it everyday...It has a boy's head on it with your name birthyear and deathyear. They even put a Ickey Mouse charm on there that says 'I Love You'. Oh and a charm that has 2 heart connnected on it. God bubby, I miss you terribly.. I was going to write this letter on the 23 but I just couldn't

I remember when Aunt Jan gave me all that stuff you had. You'll be happy to know your Pokemon Yellow is still in good condition. Your old Starwars phone is okay too. Daddy has it put up so nothing can get to it...Oh and your old fart alarm has provived me with many a laughs. I remember going to your house when I was little and blowing that over and over again..I miss that house. I haven't been there since you died. I remember every room in that house. I have a VERY clear picture of your room. That old couch pullout bed Grandaddy slept on? All those wrestling figures you got mad me when I played house with them? All those old Starwars soda cans? I remember it all.. You have know idea what I wouldn't give to be able to sit in your room one more time and watch The Simpsons with you.

I remember all those summers you came down. Remember all that watermelon we ate on the floor in gramma's kitchen? Watermelon is still my favorite food. Everytime I eat it I think of you. I also remember all the trips to Chuckie Cheese. I'm still grateful you gave me all your tickets so I could have that cheap Barbie doll. Even though Gramma got mad when she caught us at midnight playing with her in the sink cause I wanted to see her swimsuit change colors. You used to folow me around like a dog. Daddy always told me you were always sniffing my butt folowing me around so closely. You always did everything in your power to make sure nothing would ever hurt me. And I know that still today your folowing me around making sure no one messes with me. I know your the sole reason your mom is still alive. She should've been dead 3 times and each time you were there with her and helped her hold on until someone got there. I know you were alos there when Daddy fell off the roof. Thanks Bubby, I owe you one.

Since your death non of us have been the same. But some of us learned from it. I NEVER EVER take one day for granted. You've inspired me to things I NEVER would have done had I no thad the thought in the back of my head saying "Hmm why not try it? You never know what tomarrow will bring. Go for it!) I also know that you never left here. I see you all the time. Your always hanging around making sure no nothing hurts your baby sister. It's still not the same as having you phyisiclly here with me. I miss you sooooooooooooo much. All of us do. Your mom needs help now. I know you've down all you can and gone beyound that but if you can put a good word in with the big man up there, I'd be grateful. Maybe if you let her know that yes, you are still around she might feel better.

Well bubby, I have to go. Theres a lot more things i would've included in this letter, but I just don't think I'm ready for that yet. I just want you to know that you never left my mind and you never will. You're alive in my heart and everyone else in this family. I love you very much. We all do. We all miss you. Especially me bubby.