The Big C

One if the things people know me best for is my 'love' for Cracker Barrel. I HATE THAT PLACE!!!! I really do. We take Grandaddy there at least once a week. Sometimes it's multiple trips. Even on vacation we have to get one stop in somewhere to get his fix. I can tell you that the Sataurday veggie of the day is lima beans. I can tell you most of the servers names. I can also tell you what my Grandaddy orders EVERY time we go in there: Green beans, carrots, applesauce, macoroni and cheese and cornbread. I can also tell you that he will always ask for the vegetable of the day and when the response is (always) lima beans he doesn't get it. I sat down one day and began to look at the menu and then turned to my mom and said "I don't know why I bother reading the menu. I know it by heart." It's sad that it's true.

We haven't been there recently. What's weird is that theres kinda been a hole in my life. I actually started craving it the other day in Honors Biology. When I told Renae she asked if i needed to be smacked back into reality. I'm not so sure I miss Cracker Barrel as I do what it really represents to me. My whole family goes when we do. (Well Gramma, Grandaddy, Mommy, Daddy, Aunt Jan, and I.) To me it brings my family together. We've had so many problems with one of the above members. Since I'm probably not supposed to tell you who it is and since no one besides those who know read this...It's not my parents or my grandparents or me. Anyway while we're fighting world war 3 over here we haven't had time to go. That and no one gets along at this time. (Which bothers me more than anyone knows.) I really just want to go and sit and eat...as a family. All I really want is to go to Cracker Barrel and eat with everyone as a HAPPY family. I just want everything to be o.k. with my family but I'm not sure that won't happen for a long time if it even happens.

I just want everything to go back to normal. But in my heart I know the chances of that happening are very slim. I'm slowly gettting used to the idea of everything around me changing. I've come to expected the unexpected. The only thing good about this whole situation is that it's made me much stronger. I've developed 'The Conce of Corcern" Anything outside the cone I don't care about. Very few things actually make it into the cone. I've also learned to take things one day at a time. It's much easier on me to deal with things as they come. Worrying about future things makes life worse. But most importantly and sadly is that I'm starting to get used to going to Cracker Barrel with one less person.